Complaining Criticizing and Mud-slinging

He who throws dirt is losing ground! –Author Unknown

It takes no effort whatsoever to criticize another, especially since we have no idea what they have gone through.  It cracks me up to see someone watching a soccer, football or basketball game and their comments are, “what an idiot, why didn’t he just do this or that“.  I’ve been guilty of the same, and then you stop and wonder if it had been you in that game under the same circumstances whether or not you would have been even capable of even a fraction of what this guy was able to perform.  It is too easy to make these comments when we are seated in the comfort of our living rooms sipping on a beer or a some drink and eating potato chips!

We are all so quick to judge, but we tend to measure other people’s performances from our personal perspective and perhaps we are right to arrive to a certain conclusion, only if it were ourselves in that specific situation.  But we are all different, come from different backgrounds and experiences, so to sit comfortably and pass judgement on others is simply not right or fair.  I believe that it is possible to overcome difficult circumstances to achieve great results, but it is up to the individual to get to that point!  You can try to help others to understand that all things are possible if you put enough effort, but as the saying goes, “you can take a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink” not everyone will decide to take a drink. We just have to take them as they are.

Some people seem to thrive on putting others down and poo poo anyone that dares to say that you can overcome, or that you can make it if you try hard enough.  Just the other day I was on Twitter and I saw the most ridiculous tweet that read something like “positive thinkers and self-improvement guru’s are to blame for the current economical problems” .  It made me sort of chuckle to read such a silly comment and most likely this is the sort of person that thrives on putting anything and everything down and sings the “it can’t be done”  dirge in the attempt to justify their own in-capabilities.

I have a deep admiration for the seemingly underdog who has defied all odds and has come out a winner.  I cannot stand instead to constantly hear how it can “never be done” from the whiner.  If your circumstances were to truly dictate your ability to make it in the world, then Oprah Winfrey should go back to an abused household and the ghetto.  So if you are not making it in life, if you are in a dilemma, get busy and do something about it, don’t spend your minutes, days, hours, weeks, months, or years belly aching and complaining about why you are not able or shouldn’t be expected to get anywhere! What a waste of time! And if you are busy trying to criticize others and put them down, be careful you are only putting yourself down and wasting precious time!  If you want to be miserable, go in your closet and be as miserable as you want, but don’t share your lack of faith, don’t tweet about it, get up off of you a** and get busy doing what you can.

There was a song that I used to sing years ago (yes I sing sometimes even outside the shower stall) and the chorus goes like this: Walk a mile, walk a mile in his shoes, don’t put down criticize or accuse.  Take the time to feel the things  he’s going through, see just how it feels to walk a mile in his shoes”  There are those who know how to overcome, others that are in difficult situations that may need some understanding and a helping hand, but that does not mean that they are any worse than you are. Whichever the case, we should make the attempt to understand where they are coming from and empathize with them and to accept them as they are.

Are you a winner or a whiner?

The Compliment of Criticism

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing” –Aristotle

Criticism is truly hard to take no matter how it is given.  There are however different types of criticism, constructive criticism that is meant to help you do your job better, usually administered by someone who would like to see you succeed in your work, and criticism given by a born critic.  Some people are plagued with a negative mindset and pretty much anything and everything will fail on the scale of their opinion.  They tend to thrive on negative thoughts, and if there is nothing bad going on, they are sure to invent it!

It is easy to grow defensive of our own work, after all you have spent a good amount of your personal blood, sweat and tears laboring away to accomplish something and then someone comes along and tears it all down with a comment.  The fact of the matter is, there is no way on earth you will ever be able to satisfy everyone, you can try hard at it, but if that is what you are attempting to do, prepare for great disappointment!  The best attitude to have when working on anything is to be ready and accept the fact from the beginning that you will be met with criticism.

The good news is, being criticized means that you are doing something!  Only those who do not do anything, never try anything, are too afraid to make any move are the only ones that never receive any criticism! So if you are being criticized, this could be a wonderful compliment, it means that you are going somewhere.  Criticizing can be due to many things, perhaps others are jealous of you and what you are able to accomplish, so in order to elevate themselves they will attempt to put you down.  They might just be chronic criticizers who have little or nothing else to do and therefore they have taken on this activity as their “profession”.  And yes there is the true friend who really would like to see you succeed and so he offers you a sincere criticism in order to help you to perfect what you are doing.

Leaders are usually subjected to a lot of criticism.  They are often in their position because of the fact that they are good leaders, but good or bad as they may be, because they are going places and doing things, they are the target of a lot of criticism!  You cannot desire leadership if you are afraid of being criticized, spoken bad about or eventually even hated by others.  This unfortunately comes with the job of a leader.  But a good leader will be open to this fact, be able to wade through the criticism, pick out what might be relevant and learn from it without being offended. If you are affected by criticism, do not seek out a leadership position!

I really do not look forward to election time, as despite the fact that debate is necessary in order to arrive to the solution in any matter, during the campaign stage there is so much senseless mudslinging on both sides of the aisle.  What those who tend to sling mud don’t take into consideration is:”he who throws dirt loses ground!” Most of the criticism is not constructive, if it were it would not just accentuate the obvious problem but rather clearly offer a solution.

So if you are a victim of criticism, cheer up, you may be doing something.  Just don’t let it get you down and to stop moving at all! Look at the criticism and try to evaluate whether it holds any possible point in truth and make any modifications that you deem necessary. We are all subject to the gossip of others, unfortunately that comes with life, just don’t let it be what influences your every decision!

How do you take criticism? Do you use it to make you better or allow it to  weaken you through feelings of failure?