“Definition of a bore: One who wants to talk about themselves when I want to talk about myself” –Author Unknown
In response to Jackie Paulson (please see her blog by following the link on the comments menu) I will write about the people who want to always talk about themselves, or be the ones to dominate every conversation.
It is human nature to want to be heard, we need attention but some folks can take this to the limits of making it difficult on others to want to be around them. Sometimes we can forget that a conversation needs to take place between two or more persons, by excluding others it will then become a lecture.
It is a matter of maturity, as first we a children and we need to be taken care of, we love our parents (especially mom) and are just pretty much happy to be on-board, for the most part. Then comes adolescence when really we are pretty convinced that the universe revolves around us, or at least it should be, and if anyone has any doubt about that, well then we feel the need to set them straight. It is the time of life that is usually the most self-centered of our lives. Everything begins to take a different share or form from our perspective, and adults are pretty dumb, but some silly rule tells us that for whatever reasons we should pay attention to what nonsense they might wish to throw our way.
Once we become an adult, well if we learned something along the way, we should realize that there are a lot of other people that we have to share the planet with that just might have some positive input that could benefit us! It takes real self-discipline to keep our own selves, and particularly our tongues in check. It takes a certain bit of maturity and wisdom to keep our mouths shut. In the book of Ecclesiastes of the Bible it says: “a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.” And Abraham Lincoln once wisely said: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
There are a couple of reasons why some people talk a lot about themselves: there are those who are truly full of themselves and proud and over bearing, and there are others who have a low self-esteem and so they tend to over compensate in an attempt to be accepted. So the only advice that I might give on how to have them “stop” as Jackie has asked would be: 1) if the person is someone who you are close to, try being honest with them and explaining how their conversation has made it difficult to be around them, or 2) if you are not particularly close to them, avoid being around them when it is possible. Should they then sense that you are being distant you can offer an explanation. Either way, should you decide to talk with the person about how you feel, do so in a moment when you are not emotionally and visibly bothered about it so that you can offer it packaged as friendly advice, not as a harsh criticism, it makes the pill go down much easier. In Proverbs it says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend”. And remember, they are most likely talking because they need to be heard, and they too, need a friend…be a true friend.