The ME Syndrome

Definition of a bore: One who wants to talk about themselves when I want to talk about myself” –Author Unknown

In response to Jackie Paulson (please see her blog by following the link on the comments menu) I will write about the people who want to always talk about themselves, or be the ones to dominate every conversation.

It is human nature to want to be heard, we need attention but some folks can take this to the limits of making it difficult on others to want to be around them.  Sometimes we can forget that a conversation needs to take place between two or more persons, by excluding others it will then become a lecture.

It is a matter of maturity, as first we a children and we need to be taken care of, we love our parents (especially mom) and are just pretty much happy to be on-board, for the most part.  Then comes adolescence when really we are pretty convinced that the universe revolves around us, or at least it should be, and if anyone has any doubt about that, well then we feel the need to set them straight.  It is the time of life that is usually the most self-centered of our lives.  Everything begins to take a different share or form from our perspective, and adults are pretty dumb, but some silly rule tells us that for whatever reasons we should pay attention to what nonsense they might wish to throw our way.

Once we become an adult, well if we learned something along the way, we should realize that there are a lot of other people that we have to share the planet with that just might have some positive input that could benefit us!  It takes real self-discipline to keep our own selves, and particularly our tongues in check.   It takes a certain bit of maturity and wisdom to keep our mouths shut.  In the book of Ecclesiastes of the Bible it says: “a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.”  And Abraham Lincoln once wisely said: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.

There are a couple of reasons why some people talk a lot about themselves: there are those who are truly full of themselves and proud and over bearing, and there are others who have a low self-esteem and so they tend to over compensate in an attempt to be accepted.  So the only advice that I might give on how to have them “stop” as Jackie has asked would be: 1) if the person is someone who you are close to, try being honest with them and explaining how their conversation has made it difficult to be around them, or 2) if you are not particularly close to them, avoid being around them when it is possible.  Should they then sense that you are being distant you can offer an explanation.  Either way, should you decide to talk with the person about how you feel, do so in a moment when you are not emotionally and visibly bothered about it so that you can offer it packaged as friendly advice, not as a harsh criticism, it makes the pill go down much easier.  In Proverbs it says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend”.  And remember, they are most likely talking because they need to be heard, and they too, need a friend…be a true friend.

Selfishiness = Insanity

Have you ever thought about the fact that a child does NOT need to be taught to NOT share his toys? And yet, some have said that at birth we are “good” and that we learn through life to become evil. Well I believe that we are born naturally selfish and we need the necessary training or guidance to have good manners, be thoughtful towards others, etc.. It has a lot to do with our innate need for self-preservation, which I agree is “natural”, we in essence are born with a great desire to remain alive. To me this is normal, necessary and very natural and even good. But when does it “cross the line”?

We are driven in life largely by our own emotions. There is a diversity of emotions that tend to have sway in what we do, what we say and how we react to situations and the things around us. We are very much influenced by what we hear, what we see what we read etc.. You may be familiar with the saying “you are what you read” and this is true. The things that you occupy yourself with on a daily basis have a great effect on how you view the world around you, and how you react to the things that happen to you.

It takes years of training of a child in order to help him to learn to be more considerate of those around him, to share his or her toys, to let others go first to learn to be well-mannered and polite. Sad to say, as time has gone by these principles have been largely neglected and left behind as a growing principle in life. The “experts” say, “let the child explore and discover on his own”. The result… a very selfish and egotistical world with high rates of violence and crime, wars and unrest throughout the world.

It has gotten to the point that it has become common place, and well accepted to be the “norm”, both in individual lives, business practices and politics to take into consideration at first place–“what is in it for ME” rather than, what is the best for the overall.

This can easily be seen in the fact that newspapers and tabloids make big bucks off of the negative stories and bad news that happens throughout the world rather than the “good news”. People in general are pulled towards the morbid bad news more than they are to the good–scary yet true. If you were to realize what effect this has on your character you might want to discipline yourself more to search out the good that there is in the world, which is not so out there and publicized, and then you might rethink what you do and work on disciplining your mind.

Just as junk food has a very negative effect on your physical body, so does junk input, both through reading and watching the most popular violent flick has on your own personality. Children by the time they are 12 years of age will have witnessed approximately 12,000 acts of violence on their TV in the comfort of their homes. And then we ask ourselves why on earth would anyone walk into a school and shoot dead dozens of people? We then say to ourselves, they are nuts! They cannot be tried in a courtroom because they are mentally unfit to stand trial!

Well, welcome to planet earth where man will stop at nothing to make a buck even at the expense of others, even their own kids! That is totally insane/selfish! Governments wage wars on nations or even their own people just because others don’t see things the way that they do, or because they want more oil, or because they want to keep the economical balance “right” (or more to their advantage)!

Pharmaceutical companies would rather not reveal all too soon a cure for a disease because it certainly is more convenient to have a “needy” clientele in order to keep the money coming in! The list would go on and on of examples of the selfishness that has a control on so many!

That is why selfishness is insanity! Who belongs in a straight jacket then? Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear! It all could drive you literally……insane!